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| Article of Interest
------------------------------------------------Article of Interest |
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Finding The Right Roommate
by: Dan The Roommate Man
The Search
Finally ready to move out of your parents' basement? Tried living alone and
didn't like it? Need to share so you can save a little bread? You're not
alone: By some estimates, 30 million Americans are renting these days. That
means a lot of interviewing is going on. How can you raise your chances of
finding the perfect—or at least a perfectly good—roommate?
Ask and send e-mail messages to friends, classmates, and fellow workers
about whether they know other people who are looking. Place or answer ads in
the classified section of newspapers or trade publications. If you play
electric guitar, chances are that music trade mags will get you closer to
people who love midnight jams. Check the boards at favorite stores and local
colleges and universities.
Finding a Good Match
Picture speed dating—a roomful of singles who get, say, 12 minutes each to
talk to all other prospective partners in the room. At the end, each one
tells the host who they'd like to see again. And being able to briefly
"sample" prospective dates tends to evoke honest exchanges.
Roommate interviews shouldn't be as intense—or as condensed—but the more of
them you set up, the better your chances of finding a good match. Try to
talk openly about habits that might affect your ability to get along; it
will make it easier for others to do the same.
Watch out for 'tude. Mutual respect is as important as good chemistry. Most
roommate conflicts stem less from differences—we all have those—than from
how they're handled. Would this hip guy go ballistic if you asked him to
turn down the stereo because you're cramming for finals? Would this cool
woman lose it if she came home to an impromptu beer party? Would you? Toss
around some scenarios. It will break the ice, and you'll come away with a
sense of your personality mix.
Best buds versus ships in the night. Are you looking for someone to share
meals, friends, and gossip with, or just a decent roommate who gives you
space? Make sure you're on the same track.
Communication. In one renters' Web log, a student reported that his roommate
"painted the bathroom floor [unannounced] . . . and when we came home from a
party (lots of beer) she told us we couldn't use the bathroom!" Spontaneity
can be a good thing, but not at the cost of courtesy.
Safety, sanity, privacy. Talk about "locking etiquette," from bathrooms and
bedrooms to front doors. If you'll be sharing a room, what if you or your
roommate found yourself in the middle of a thing called love—can you count
on always having access to your bedroom?
Food, glorious food. Compare eating habits—not only whether you eat "things
that have eyes," but also expectations about shared meals, cooking and
cleanup, and dinner guests. If you'd be keeping separate food caches,
discuss whether it would sometimes be okay to borrow.
Early birds and night owls. Conflicting schedules can interfere with sleep
patterns, homework, party time, and—let's face it—your style. It's natural
to have conflicts now and then, but lifelong habits aren't likely to change.
When duty calls. Discuss sharing such unromantic chores as vacuuming,
cleaning the bathroom, shoveling snow, and taking out garbage, as well as
shopping for food and other necessities. Who will shop for toilet paper,
detergent, sponges—all that nice stuff—and when?
Scents and sensitivity. If you're scent-sensitive and your potential
roommate goes heavy on the cologne or perfume, air freshener, patchouli
incense, aromatherapy candles, Kool filters . . . well, you get the idea.
The sound and the fury. If your tolerance for noise levels isn't in sync,
there'd better be something really good to make up for it (like
communication and humor and a great place and . . .).
Hot and cold. If you're one of those hardy souls who wears shorts until the
first snowfall, you might have trouble living with someone who believes home
is where the hearth is always heated. If you go for it anyway, discuss how
the heating bill should be divided.
It's an aesthetics thing. In established households, shared areas probably
already have a "look." How will you compromise if you want to string
spotted-cow lights around the china cabinet that holds your roommate's
Limoges collection?
Close encounters of the fur kind. Allergies aside, even pet lovers can be
frustrated to find their shredded shoes between the paws of a roommate's
smiling collie. If your entire wardrobe is black and two white cats are
eyeing you longingly during your interview, prepare to stock up on lint
rollers.
Close encounters II: Attraction. If your interview turns into a flirt fest,
exchange phone numbers rather than sharing a lease. Breaking up is hard to
do, but it's even harder when it involves broken contracts. Really.
Close encounters III: Overnight guests. Discuss guest scenarios, from
long-term visits to sweetheart overnights. If your home started to become a
second residence for your roomie's boyfriend, would it be a deal breaker, or
would he be asked to pay his share? (Note: Your lease probably has something
to say about this.)
Nasty habits. If your idea of winding down is to light up, knock back a
brew, and crank up the music, it may not be appreciated by a nonsmoking,
nondrinking roommate who's working on his "Lutes in Shakespearean England"
thesis. But hey, you never know: One Parisian party girl we know ended up
rooming with a nun, and they became lifelong friends.
The Cost of Renting
Rent should be evenly divided among roommates, pure and simple, right? Not
always. Consider these possible exceptions:
Bedroom size. Sunlight, water view, private deck—there are lots of reasons
one room might seem better than others, and "who gets it" usually comes down
to seniority. Size is another matter: If rooms are sized differently, figure
out your home's square footage and pay equally for common areas, but pay for
private areas based on square feet.
One room will be rented by a couple. A couple should count as two people in
terms of utility costs, chores, shopping, and so on, but rent is a little
trickier. Typically, couples pay more than individual renters but less than
if they were renting two bedrooms, but it doesn't have to be about money. Be
creative.
One of you is the primary leaseholder. The leaseholder holds responsibility
if property is damaged or other renters leave without notice—and has to fill
vacancies even under better circumstances. A rent break would be reasonable,
but if that would cause household conflict, discuss other forms of tradeoff.
Someone needs extra space. If some common areas are off limits because they
house a roommate's home office, sports gear, or stuffed-animal collection,
it might be reasonable for them to pay a little more.
Other expenses
Food. Do you want to keep separate food stashes and accounts, or share and
share alike? Consider a food "kitty" to which each roommate contributes the
same monthly amount. Keep a ledger in the same secure location for signing
cash in and out, and always attach receipts. If you take the communal
approach, but one of you eats like a horse and the other like a bird,
discuss a fair division of expenses.
Utilities. Utility bills should be divided equally if usage is similar. But
if, say, one of you telecommutes with the lights turned up and the heat
blazing, electric bills should be a discussion point. How will you divide
bill paying? If the CPA among you offers to collect for and pay all the
bills, maybe she should get a break on dish-washing duty.
The little details. All of those extra small expenses, from paper towels to
window cleaner to air freshener, should be shared equally by those who use
them.
Furniture. If you'll be moving into unfurnished digs together and you're
starting from scratch, how will you work out expenses? If you're low on
dough, is it more important to spring for that Ikea "Buddy" bookshelf, or
buy extra chairs for guests?
Before you sign . . .
Let's say you've found a great place and it feels like you've known your
prospective roommate forever. Before you finalize anything, follow up on
references from previous landlords. Consider asking for—and be willing to
provide—a recent credit report, along with a photo ID. It may sound goofy,
but it will help protect both of you.
Where do you both stand financially in case of sudden layoffs? Some experts
even advise that you do a criminal check. To show that your heart's in the
right place, try sweetening the meeting with a gift of beer and phad thai.
This could be the start of a beautiful friendship. About the Author
dan the roommate man
www.roommateexpress.com
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